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Testimonials From The 5th Dimension

Published November 23, 2018 in Uncategorized - 0 Comments

from honorable members of the Dead Poets Society
residing in the 5th Dimension:

Author’s Note: Being a writer of fantasy fiction, since the existence of a 5th dimension has yet to be proved, I personally believe that I can link to it with my imagination. How else can I explain the invented testimonials that follow?

From the Huff Ringtone Post Interviews:

…with William Shakespeare at the 5D Library:

H. R. Post: Word is out that you’re working on an adaptation of The Dragon’s Game Books for a five-act play on stage at Stratford. Is that so, Mr. Shakespeare?

Shakespeare, leaning back and twisting his mustache: Yes, well, it’s still in the early stages of development. Mind you I’m still in negotiations with H. N. Henry for the stage adaptation rights.

H. R. Post: What can you tell us about the early stages?

Shakespeare: Hmmm. An act for each book. Each act a blood bath. That’s why I want to adapt it. And, Henry’s witch is not a double-double-toil-and-trouble sort of witch. She’s not tied to a cauldron, mixing eye of newt, toe of frog, or tongue of dog to make a charm of powerful trouble. Oh! No! His witch is cursed with the power of evil itself and she’s a shape shifter of sorts. Therein lies one of the adaptation challenges.

H. R. Post: You say “one of the adaptation challenges.”Can you tell us another?

Shakespeare, biting his lower lip: Mainly with getting the dragon on stage in Acts III, IV, and V. It’s going to be very expensive to hire the best holographic stage performance technology to make that happen.

H. R. Post: What can you tell us about your planned adaptation of the heroine’s role?

Shakespeare, smiling and rubbing his hands together: Unlike Lady Macbeth, she wears the blood of her deeds with unrelenting vengeance.

…with Robin Williams at 5D Studios:

H. R. Post: Mr. Williams, thanks for giving us a few minutes of your time. Today we’re asking celebrities what they’re reading. What are you reading?

Williams, with a shy smile: Call me Robin. I’m reading BETRAYED, Book III of The Dragon’s Game Books.

H. R. Post: But it hasn’t been released yet?

Williams: I know. I contacted H. N. Henry and asked for an advance reader copy. After reading Books I and II, I had to have this one. He was kind to oblige. He sent me a digital copy via Ork. (Bashful smile) Nanu Nanu.

H. R. Post: How would you describe the series so far?

Williams, holding out his hand: It’s Game of Thrones on a diet. You can almost count the characters on the fingers of your hand. And Nagora, the main character! Move over Georgie Porgie. You kiss this girl and make her cry, you gonna pay big time. (Williams stands spread-eagled, one hand stabbing at the palm of his other before it goes to his crotch and he winces in pain, and then sits back down.) A scene from Book III, you’ve gotta read it. By the way, Stieg Larson recommended I read The Dragon’s Game books.

H. R. Post: What did he say that convinced you?

Williams: He said, and I quote (Speaking in a Swedish accent, making air quotes with fingers): In this world of fictional characters, if my Lisbeth Salander, from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, had an ancestor from an Iron-Age-like time in a place where dragons lived, Nagora would be her. Very definitely. You don’t want to cross her.

…with Chuck Berry at the 5D Vinyl Record Store:

H. R. Post:  Mr. Berry, we see that you have the latest Two Steps From Hell album in your hands and a copy of one of The Dragon’s Game Books under an arm. Is there a connection?

Berry, grinning wide and baring immaculate white teeth: Ooooooo Weeeeee! May-Bell-Ene! I gotta have music to read by, and honey, this is the best to set the mood. You know what I mean? ’Cause some of those scenes got me holdin’ onto my own ding-a-ling. (Laughs loud, winks and flashes a smile) Wouldn’t want that to happen to me. (Eyes big and round as marbles).

…with Marilyn Monroe at the 5D Studios:

H. R. Post: Apparently when having coffee with Betty Davis and Brigitte Bardot, you were overheard to say that the main character, Nagora, in The Dragon’s Game Books was a lot like you. Could you elaborate?

Monroe: Not a lot like me. In no way are we similar. Except in the way that Edana happens to the character, Nagora, Marilyn happened to me when I was Norma Jeane. Only in that way are we similar. We didn’t choose to become those characters. The people made me Marilyn, just like they made Nagora—Edana, but in very different ways and for very different reasons.

H. R. Post: Do you think you could ever be cast in the role of Nagora?

Monroe laughing: No way! It’ll take an actress with balls to play Nagora. Even in Hollywood, they probably couldn’t find an actress to play her. Not because they couldn’t, but because they wouldn’t dare make a movie about her. She’s too strong a character. Not the Hollywood type. They’re not ready for her.

…with Walt Disney at the 5D Disney Family Amusement Theme Park:

H. R. Post: Is it true you are considering building a Dragon’s Game theme location here at your park?

Disney, with a polite smile: No. Definitely not. You probably heard about a possible Isle-of-Smoke theme location with a cage elevator into the dragon’s cave, but that’s not happening. H. N. Henry refuses to negotiate such partial derivative rights from the body of his work. And let’s face it, this is an entertainment park focused on attracting families to our site.

H. R. Post: But we heard you were considering opening an adult or mature section at the park. Will you comment?

Disney, still smiling:  As tempting as that would be, it would go against our values. Let me put it this way: Snow White falls for the witch’s poisoned apple. Nagora doesn’t. She fights back with fire and spills a lot of blood.

The seven dwarfs help Snow White. The Little People, thousands of them, because they are so small and have such magical powers, help Nagora do some amazing things. Mind you, Grumpy would be happy about that.

Prince charming comes along and wakes Snow White from her poisoned sleep with a kiss. (Disney, losing his smile.) The Prince in The Dragon’s Game story is so evil and perverted, out to get Nagora, and she is out to get him too. Not to mention what the dragon does to Nagora to control her. None of that is for kids to see. We’re sticking to attracting families to our park.